“SINGLE” is not a bad word

This blog entry will hopefully encourage those of you who are single and desire to be married.  Being single is not a bad thing. Yes, it can feel lonely at times and you may wonder if you’re ever going to meet Mr. or Miss Right. But the truth of the matter is, you just have to wait it out. The question becomes, what are you doing while you’re waiting?  Are you working on being the best “you” that you can be? Are you cleaning up your finances? Have you healed from past relationships that hurt you deeply?  Do you really know what you want in a mate?

Singleness is a great time to treat yourself the way you would want your “mate” to treat you. Self-respect and confidence are very attractive character traits. Ladies, are you putting all of your physical assets on display so there’s no need for him to imagine or wonder? Men, are you secure enough in who you are that a strong, successful woman doesn’t threaten your manhood? Think about it.

It’s all about your perspective when it comes to singleness. Perspective has a way of turning what was once perceived as a negative, into a positive. This is the time where you have the emotional space to really explore and discover what “you” are all about. Shouldn’t you know “you” before you invite another person into your space?  And please don’t expect the other person to “make” you happy. You are responsible for your own happiness. You should have a party going on when you meet Mr. or Miss Right. They should “enhance” not “create” your happy attitude about your life. Don’t expect them to do everything for you. Especially those things that you know you don’t do for yourself.

I wrote this poem over 10 years ago…but I believe it still rings true today!


Being single this long was not in your plan
You were hoping and praying that by now God would have hooked you up with your woman or your man
Where is she? Where is he? You consistently ask
And the father says before I join you to another you must
Take off your mask
No more hiding, shucking and jiving it’s time to get real
Because everything isn’t always about how
You feel
You can’t unite and try to become one
Until you look at yourself and ask God what
Needs to be done
Then prepare yourself for the answer because the
Words may not be so easy to hear
You’re so busy looking for the right one you’ve
Conveniently neglected to check yourself…my dear
You see the skeletons in your closet won’t stay silent forever
And by holding on to the pain from your past-hope for your future is what you sever
Are you living your life the way God is telling you to
Or do you only plug-in to the kingdom when the object of your affection no longer says “Boo, Ilove you”
When you get tired of the game, you’ll take off your mask
Being single affords you the time to perform this costly task
Oh yeah, it will cost you, but the reward is great
Once God develops your character, he’ll begin preparing you for your mate

So before you adopt the “I’m all that and a bag of chips” I suggest you do some “in-house” cleaning and that’s on the real tip
A knight in shining armor wants a woman who is together
The way she handles her finances, her mental stability, her relationship with
God cannot be summed up with “whatever”
And a queen wants her king to be worthy of the throne
He is God-fearing, spirit filled, loving and obedient
Never forcing her to say “you better call in Tyrone”

So be of good courage, have faith and wait
God knows the desires of your heart, just trust
He won’t be late
Your singleness season is a time for you to grow
It’s a time to discover, uncover, and know
That the God whom you serve has a plan for your life
And it’s not all about if you’ll have a husband or a wife
Just keep your eyes on Jesus and perform the work he has called you to do
And all of these “other” things will be added unto you

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