I thought this would be the appropriate title for my first blog because I realize many of you have no clue as to who I am. This is not going to be paragraphs explaining my educational and professional background; you can read my bio for that information. This is a space where I will share what isn’t always apparent to the naked eye. I will take you behind my mask that I have to wear sometimes. I’m sure you can relate because we all wear masks at some point in our lives. The one thing you will learn about me is that I live and operate in authenticity. But I wasn’t always this way.
As a young girl I grew up with low self-esteem. I just didn’t think very much of myself. It seemed as if everybody else saw this bright, intelligent, pretty, brown-skinned girl with an exciting future ahead of her. I was an excellent student, had loving family, good friends, and attended church services on Sunday. On the outside it “appeared” all was well. On the inside I was drowning in my self-defeating thoughts and negative thinking.
I would watch television news and look at the well poised news anchors and say to myself “I would love to do that one day”. As I got older I developed natural qualities that a broadcast journalist should have. I was very talkative, curious (nosey), loved to tell stories, and truly enjoyed writing. Writing was a release for me. The thoughts and emotions that I was afraid to audibly speak, I could clearly write out on paper. Yes, the natural qualities were there. The self-belief and confidence were absent.
So, I went to college and graduated with my Broadcast Journalism degree. But I was still carrying a Master’s Degree in FEAR! Fear and low self-esteem kept me from pursuing my dream of being in front of a camera. Fear and low self-esteem convinced me that I was created to stay hidden. I told myself things like “you’re too ugly”, “you don’t look like the women who are on television”, “you’re not smart enough to articulate a message that anyone would understand.” So I pursued a career as a television producer. That way, I was still working in television and not totally wasting my degree. And so that’s exactly what happened. I worked behind the scenes hanging out with my life-long buddies Fear and Low Self-Esteem.
But there came a time in my life where my curiosity kept getting stronger and stronger. My curiosity asked the question, “What if you tried to be a reporter?” It was as if I was that little girl again looking at television news saying, “Why not me?”
During this same time I had shifted out of the routine of just attending church and going through the motions of being a “believer”. I started to really feel like there had to be more to this “God thing” than just what I would get on Sunday. And it was! But I had to check in and do the work! The work for me was reading the Word for myself and praying about what I was reading. The one scripture that stuck out to me was “Perfect love casts out fear”. Could it be that the reason why I didn’t love myself is because I had never fully embraced the perfect love of God? Could it be that even though I sang songs of how I loved Him, I never internalized the love He has for me? Could it be that I was afraid of what a relationship, not routine, with God would present in my life?
Well, the more I communicated with God about my feelings and thoughts about my issues, my flaws, and my life; I noticed I began to feel more confident. My spiritual identity was becoming clearer to me and it gave me a strength that I hadn’t experienced before. It was this strength that gave me the ability to TRY!
Never underestimate the power of a try. You’ll never know what you can accomplish in life if you never try. My father would tell me many times, nothing in life beats a failure but a try. You have to suit up and get off the sidelines and try!
So, Danita tried. I stood on my faith and I mustered up the courage to audition to be a reporter on the show I was producing at the time. My resume did not reflect the requirements for the position. But my relationship with God reflected that I was in the perfect position to fulfill my dream. I did my audition and I remember looking at the videotape afterwards with tears in my eyes. Why? Because it was in that moment that Danita felt victorious. There I was, in front of a camera reporting stories just like I had watched people do when I was child. At that point I had tangible evidence of me overcoming my fear and kicking my low self-esteem to the curb. I was amazed at what God had done. But the Word says He will do exceedingly and abundantly above all you could ever ask or think. So, shortly after that day I was told that I had gotten the reporter’s position. WOW!
How did this happen? Because I embraced the POWER OF A TRY! If I never tried, you wouldn’t see me on television today. I would have stayed hidden living beneath my potential in God. It was my effort in developing my faith in God that helped me to see that it was God who planted this desire in my spirit. Therefore, it’s up to Him to fulfill it. But faith without works is dead so you have to put time in with God. Quality time and a sincere, open heart will strengthen the relationship.
Are you hiding? Have you been hanging out with fear and low self-esteem? Do you entertain those negative self-defeating thoughts that try to implant themselves in your mind? What dream have you neglected because you are afraid to TRY? Has routine overpowered your relationship with God?
Who is Danita? A woman who tapped into the POWER OF A TRY to become the woman God created her to be. So, that is why I do what I do. I can’t talk about my professional career without speaking about God and I can’t encourage people to live abundant lives without tapping into the power of God. It’s who I am. I am on television because my work connects me to people, and my purpose and passion is to connect people to God.
As you hopefully continue to read my blogs, it is my prayer that they will strengthen your connection with God. I am praying to be an effective vessel of His lovingkindness to draw people into the wonderful light of His love.
Hello, my name is Danita and this is who I am!